


I Sort of Love Laura Palmer

by bgrrl



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 07:53:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2143035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgrrl/pseuds/bgrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you don't know how you feel until you say it aloud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Sort of Love Laura Palmer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ecto_gammat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecto_gammat/gifts).



> I took a bit of liberty with the diner scene between Audrey and Donna in S.1;Ep3

Audrey pulls into the parking lot of the RR. She's not hungry but she didn't feel like going home. She felt restless after sitting in the church for so long. Audrey doesn't like churches. They're too quiet, and too proper. Churches make Audrey uncomfortable, her mother always said it was because she had the devil in her. Even when she was a little girl she hated it, the itchy dresses and endless whispered strings of “keep still Audrey, be quiet Audrey”, followed inevitably by “for God's sake Audrey.” She detested Sunday mornings. When she was thirteen her mother stopped making her go to church. Something about the pastor and inappropriate stares. Audrey went to church today, even though she hated it, even though it wasn't even a Sunday, even though she wasn't sure there was any point to church at all. She went to church because of Laura.  
  
Audrey sort of liked Laura Palmer, even if Laura and her friend Donna didn't talk to Audrey. They think she's stuck-up but they're wrong, Audrey's not stuck up; she'd just rather watch people than talk to them, most of the time. Anyway, she kind of liked Laura Palmer. She liked the way her hair fell around her face, and the way that her eyes crinkled when she smiled. Sometimes she smiled and her eyes didn't crinkle and Audrey wondered what Laura was really thinking.  
  
Sometimes she still dreams of Laura. In her dream, Laura is like those little Russian nesting dolls when you open one there is another and another. There are infinite Lauras in her dream and no matter how hard she tries she never gets to the real Laura. She just ends up with a bunch of scattered Laura pieces. Once she kissed Bobbie Briggs behind the school, to see what he would do, he tasted like smoke and pie. Audrey doesn't think Laura tastes like pie. She doesn't think Bobbie ever told Laura what she did. She's glad, maybe.  
  
When Laura started coming to the house to tutor her brother, Audrey watched them from one of her hiding places. Laura is patient and kind, explaining things as many times as Johnny needs. Laura played his games and when she laughed with him; it was bright and clear and genuine. Audrey thought maybe she could love Laura for that.  
  
She turns off the car and walks into the diner. Audrey pauses to play a song on the jukebox, before sitting at the counter and asking for a cup of coffee. It was awfully quiet for a Saturday, she pretends she doesn't see the Haywards sitting at a booth. When she came here with Laura it seemed busier.  
  
It's Saturday afternoon, chilly. Her father had, of course, forgotten about daddy-daughter lunch and was in a meeting. She's supposed to wait god knows how long. Audrey wandered the store aimless, bored and then she saw Laura behind the perfume counter.  
  
“Hi Laura.” It shouldn't have felt so awkward they exchanged hellos all the time, and it's just Laura. Laura smiled at her, and Audrey felt warm all over. “You want to have lunch?”  
  
“I just got here,” Laura said, “I don't think they'll let me leave.”  
  
“I'll take care of that.” Audrey walked up to the manager, shoulders back and chest out, doing her best impression of her father. A lie is easy if you just pretend you're telling the truth Audrey reminded herself, “I require Laura's personal assistance today, my father said it would be okay and to pay her for the hours.”  
  
The manager heaved a put-upon sigh but didn't ask questions. Sometimes it's good to be a Horne, sometimes.  
“All settled.” Audrey said when she returned to Laura's register.  
  
She waited hand on one hip. She felt like Laura was sizing her up. When Laura said yes it felt like a dare. That didn't matter Audrey reminded herself she wasn't afraid of anyone, certainly not Laura Palmer.  
  
They ate at the diner, French fries and milkshakes. They leaned in close to whisper gossip and giggled when their knees brushed under the table. Audrey saw the way Laura watched her when she put on her lipstick. Laura's eyes traced the path of the creamy red as, Audrey painted her mouth. She wondered if Laura looked at Donna that way too.  
  
“Do you need a ride back to the store?” Audrey asked.  
  
“No my dad drove me, but I could use a ride home.” There was something mischievous in Laura's eyes. Audrey wondered if she was lying but decided she didn't care.  
  
Audrey pulled up to the house and Laura asked if she wanted to come in, quickly adding that the Palmers weren't home. Audrey followed Laura into the house. It was small and neat and plain. This is what a normal, average house looks like. Funny, she'd never thought of Laura as average. She followed Laura upstairs, the third step creaked. Audrey flopped down on the bed, and dropped her purse on the floor. The bed was softer than it looked, and she stretched her hands overhead but with her legs dangling off the bed, the pillows were just out of reach. Laura's shoes made a soft thud on the rug, when she kicked them off. The house was silent, and the quilt was scratchy against Audrey's cheek when she turned her head. She watched the sway of Laura's hips as she crossed the room, the curve of her back as reached up to the top of her closet. Laura pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Audrey didn't say anything just kept watching. Her eyes took in all of Laura as she moved closer, sat cross-legged on the floor, opened the bottle and took a long drink. It's winter and the sun is already getting low in the sky turning it pink and purple. Audrey could the trees swaying in the breeze. Laura tipped her head back rested it on the bed beside Audrey's hip.  
  
“Do you want a drink?” Laura thrust the bottle at her. Audrey sniffed it, wrinkled her nose, and took a long sip. The whiskey burned going down, but she didn't cough, just swallowed it down.  
  
“You're not stuck up at all.” Laura said turning her head to look at Audrey. “I told Donna you weren't.” She felt Laura's breath against the skin of her waist where her sweater had ridden up.  
  
Audrey sat up, grabbed her purse, pulled out her lipstick. “Try it I bet this color will look gorgeous on you.”  
  
Laura walked over to the mirror, and Audrey was certain the sway of her hips was deliberate. Audrey felt a slow warmth spread through her body. She could only see Laura from the back, the movement of her arm, deliberate. When she turned her lips were ruby red. They matched Audrey's. Laura smiled and her eyes crinkled.  
  
“How do I look?” Laura pursed her lips.  
  
“Gorgeous, just like I said you would.”  
  
Laura sat on the bed next to her so close their thighs touched. She leaned in slow and Audrey found herself leaning too. Laura pressed her lips to Audrey's; it's soft and sweet. Audrey opened for Laura pulled her close. Laura's tongue was in her mouth insistent. She tasted like whiskey and cigarettes. Audrey knew she wouldn't taste like pie, leaned back she pulled Laura down with her. Audrey took her time, letting her fingers slide through Laura's hair, over her cheek. She tilted Laura's head to the side, inhaled the scent of her perfume, and dragged her teeth along the long white column of Laura's neck. Audrey brought hers lips back to Laura's wanting to taste her again, she lets her hands explore Laura's body. When her fingers slid under Laura's sweater caressing the heated skin of her stomach Laura grabbed her hands and pushed them away. She was staring, but not at Audrey. The room felt colder than before. Audrey sat up looked over her shoulder she didn't see anything. She could hear Laura breathing hard.  
  
“Laura?” She said slowly. “Are you okay?”  
  
Laura blinked at her, like she was waking up from a dream.  
  
“We don”t have to-”  
  
“I'm fine. I want to.” Laura's voice was soft and low, and she pushed at Audrey's shoulders, trying to get her to lay back on the bed. Audrey wanted to ask questions but something's shifted, and there wasn't time for questions. Laura didn't seem to want to take it slow, anymore. She shimmied down the bed and pushed up Audrey's plaid skirt. Laura snapped her garters, and gave Audrey a wink that makes her smile and sent a tingle down her spine. Then she yanked Audrey’s panties off, threw them somewhere. Her hands were soft but firm on Audrey's thighs and her hair tickled a little. Then, Audrey couldn't remember any of her questions. All she could think about was the way Laura's tongue felt against her. Nothing she's done to herself had ever felt this good. Audrey felt tense and liquid all at once, like she was coming apart. She closed her eyes and just lets go. Audrey swore she could see stars and she thought Laura Palmer might just be perfect.  
The sound of the front door slamming, made her eyes fly open. Then Laura's father is calling out her name. Laura pulls down Audrey’s skirt and wipes her mouth.  
  
“You'd better go.”  
  
They both walked downstairs and smiled innocently at Mr. Palmer. She turned to look at Laura over her shoulder, as she walked out the door.  
  
“Thanks Laura.”  
  
“Anytime.” Laura gave her that wink again, as she shut the door. She smiled but her eyes didn't crinkle.  
  
Sometimes Audrey caught Laura after her sessions with Johnny, and pulled her into her hiding place. It was a frenzy of hands and lips in the dark and they could always hear her father doing business. Audrey always wondered if Laura thought that was funny. Sometimes they'd walk in the woods behind the Great Northern. They'd walk until it was dark and they'd get lost among the trees. Laura kissed her slow and sweet like that first time, and held her hand until they got back to the hotel. Laura's hands were always cold.  
  
Audrey looks up from the counter sees Donna Hayward walking over. Audrey isn't paying attention to anything until she hears Donna say, “I didn't think you knew Laura.”  
  
Audrey wants to tell her nobody knew Laura, and the games she was playing. She wants to tell her that you don't know anybody in Twin Peaks. She wants to ask Donna if she liked the way Laura kissed, but she doesn't. She just says “I guess I sort of loved Laura.” and it's only when the words leave her lips that Audrey realizes she sort of did.


End file.
